Watching people can keep me occupied for hours. Some people shop in their slippers, others dress up for the occasion and like to make an entrance. Some don't use wallets, but rather use envelopes or bank bags with their weekly allowance. Some look obviously tired from their parental duties and others walk around flanked by The Help. For others coming to Spar is a daily event and all the shop keepers are greeted and arbitrary things are discussed, others just walk by with their eyes glued to their feet as they roll on by.

Over the last few weeks in the shop I have come to realise that not everyone has a perfect life and it is amazing how many people share their issues and stories openly and shamelessly. Not just their successes, but also about failures, disappointments, ambitions, ideas and hopes. And I must admit that talking about it seems to get them 'better'.

I also came to the realisation that everyone has issues and in most instances it is much bigger than them. They didn't let it define them and I will not let my problems define me. I am not Eloise, the cancer patient nor Eloise the penniless.

So, if I am going to be the Eloise 'This' and not the Eloise 'That', what is 'This' going to be? What about Eloise The Sorcerer? I do source things in my line of work, sometimes I even have to channel a few good thoughts and banish a few evil thoughts. Would that work for me? Cool title though.

I have decided that i want to ratify my life and path. I want to make it much simpler and a lot more family orientated. For seven years i have worked and worked and worked, but never lived. My last holiday was my one week honeymoon 5 years ago. I have worked most weekends of my life since i was 15 and realise now that i can't get a refund for my time spent. That really does suck and i only realised it now as i am turning 30 - which is still young. But I am tired.

To come back to the 'sharing' part of this post, everyone tells me that most multi millionaires failed at something and were in bad debt up their eyeballs. Which is great for them and that helped them in their book deals, but apart from more of that ironic 'life experience' it hasn't done much for me apart from making me feel ashamed and like a gigantic loser. Like I am having a staring competition with Argus and I am about to blink!