Watching people can keep me occupied for hours. Some people shop in their slippers, others dress up for the occasion and like to make an entrance. Some don't use wallets, but rather use envelopes or bank bags with their weekly allowance. Some look obviously tired from their parental duties and others walk around flanked by The Help. For others coming to Spar is a daily event and all the shop keepers are greeted and arbitrary things are discussed, others just walk by with their eyes glued to their feet as they roll on by.

Over the last few weeks in the shop I have come to realise that not everyone has a perfect life and it is amazing how many people share their issues and stories openly and shamelessly. Not just their successes, but also about failures, disappointments, ambitions, ideas and hopes. And I must admit that talking about it seems to get them 'better'.

I also came to the realisation that everyone has issues and in most instances it is much bigger than them. They didn't let it define them and I will not let my problems define me. I am not Eloise, the cancer patient nor Eloise the penniless.

So, if I am going to be the Eloise 'This' and not the Eloise 'That', what is 'This' going to be? What about Eloise The Sorcerer? I do source things in my line of work, sometimes I even have to channel a few good thoughts and banish a few evil thoughts. Would that work for me? Cool title though.

I have decided that i want to ratify my life and path. I want to make it much simpler and a lot more family orientated. For seven years i have worked and worked and worked, but never lived. My last holiday was my one week honeymoon 5 years ago. I have worked most weekends of my life since i was 15 and realise now that i can't get a refund for my time spent. That really does suck and i only realised it now as i am turning 30 - which is still young. But I am tired.

To come back to the 'sharing' part of this post, everyone tells me that most multi millionaires failed at something and were in bad debt up their eyeballs. Which is great for them and that helped them in their book deals, but apart from more of that ironic 'life experience' it hasn't done much for me apart from making me feel ashamed and like a gigantic loser. Like I am having a staring competition with Argus and I am about to blink!

save the Date
Ye wenches an’ salty dogs, pillage an’ plunder await!
Join us to celebrate Nanti’s 30th Birthday!
Chart yer course for 313 Beach Road
(Peninsula Hotel), Sea Point on
30 January 2010 at 7 o’clock
Anyone dressed as a landlubber
will be keelhauled!
Pirates and wenches in proper attire only!
Arrrrrrr…. you coming to the party?
Formal invitation to follow


For maps, directions, compasses, costumes, props , peg legs or ideas - give us a tinkle.

No costume no entry – it doesn’t have to be elaborate, but a hat, stuffed parrot or eye patch is the minimum requirement.

A parcel with some booty will be delivered to each guest to wear at the celebration to honour Capitan Keelhaul Scuttlebutt.

The party will be held pool side for those who would like to brave the waters.

Funny thing this parent thing. I went to a parents meeting this evening at Bella and Lullu's school. WOW! What an eye opener. I promised myself that I will be an involved but not a pushy parent. Well, well, well, tonight I was reluctantly attending a parent meeting at their school and walked out in charge of fundraising for the new shade net cover for the school. Why can't I keep my mouth shut? Why must I always jump in and help? Why am I unable to just be a silent witness?

Maybe it is because that even though I pay school fees I owe those teachers much more. If you don't have children yet you may find this difficult to understand, but for such little creatures they take a lot out of you. These ladies are there daily from 06:00 until 18:00. That they are not yet completely bonkers I don't know, but I know that I am definitely not cut out for watching, teaching and feeding other people's children, not to mention potty training them, giving medicine and playing. It is a thankless job and I have all the respect in the world for those ladies.

For some reason I have been programmed to help if others are in need. I often wonder what it feels like to look at a situation or person where you know you can help and you choose to walk away. Now you see, I am not an Indian Giver. I give with all my heart and don't expect anything back. And every time I give to someone I give a little bit of myself with it.

Now, while sitting on a kiddies chair at the meeting there were a few of those annoying over involved, meddling and pushy parents that kept hammering on the same points and over analyzing others. Complete with files laden with child rearing advice, play school curriculum and other 'perfect mommy' reading material.

Sitting at the back I had a fairly good vantage point of these ladies with their perfectly blowdried hair, manicured hands and exquisite build. I suppose they really don't have anything better to do as most of them sit at home the whole day. Now, forgive me, but I do not take kindly to 'Homemakers' who diss working mothers for not being more involved in their children's school activities and events.
That lady was damn near being assaulted with a chocolate muffin by another mom. If I could I would have voted the 'Homemaker' off the island.

So when the meeting came to a close there was a great divide in the room. And a few scary glances were exchanged. But at least I know I am the one footing the bill for Bella and Lullu's school fees and I am the one paying for my own mani's, pedi's and Woolies account and not in the position of the 'Homemaker' where I am dependent on my husband's salary for my lifestyle. The nerve nogal. So we don't bake and sit for hours chatting to other 'Homemakers' at play dates, surely that does not make me a lesser mother? Anyway, I have made peace with the fact that although my offices are based at my home I am a working mother juggling work, kids, husband and a household. I do not have the luxury of time to conjure up all sorts of delusions of grandeur about my life like the 'Homemakers'. So I figured that someone should put these ladies back in their boxes and show them what 'Working Moms' are capable of. I will show them that us 'Working Moms' are fierce, resourceful and can fight just as dirty. :)

In any event, I now need to find time to organise fund raising ideas and plans for our shade net. So, let me be a Besige Buitjie and get cracking!

Last week an ex colleague of mine passed away. The details are still very sketchy but it seems that he had taken his own life. I then pondered this taking your own life thing. It seems his life ended a bit prematurely and suicide is a very selfish thing to do, but I only imagine what he must have been thinking and that taking one's own life cannot be easy, especially if you have two young children. He must have been in a very deep dark whole to have made that last desperate decision, which I am sure was not an easy one.

The fact of the matter is that he didn't part with most people on a good foot and that he had very little friends and family. Which is quite sad because one would hope that when your days come to a close you would at least have a few friends and family to call on.

As with human nature, there are many stories speculating how and why his life ended so abruptly, but I am sure this is for him to discuss with his Maker. If he wanted us to know he would have left a note.

So after a few days and an autopsy we were invited to his funeral. A Jewish funeral. I didn't even know he was Jewish! It just goes to show that you think you know someone, but you really only scratched the surface.

So off I went to the funeral. When I arrived I was met by other colleagues and friends. As we entered the gates a funny vision awaited us. Amongst the simplity of it all was an elderly gentleman standing at a table handing out jamicas and order of service booklets. Behind him was a sign asking for donations in memory of the faithfully departed - further down it mentioned that credit cards were welcome! Then only did I see the credit card machine next to him. This was a first.

Now it took a while for most folks to figure out why the order of service book was written from the back to front, but everyone eventually cottoned on - it was in Hebrew.
After standing around for a while we were very unceremoniously asked to gather around for the ceremony to start. The coffin was brought out and the service commenced. Only the family was seated all the other guests had to stand for the duration of the service. The service was all of 20 minutes, eulogy included.

We all then went to the grave site in procession and on most graves there were stones and pebbles. This is a custom for all the visitors to place a stone on the grave of the person you visit as comfort for the departed. Walking through the cemetery I must say I have never seen so many ‘owitze’s’ together. Gosh.

The Rabbi gathered everyone around the grave and started to chant again and explained the custom of filling the grave. After the coffin was lowered into the ground everyone attending had to put a few spade-fulls of earth in the grave. It was customary to do at least three spades. The first one was to be done with the spade upside down to show your reluctance to do so (*you would rather have that person here with you than in the grave) and the following with the spade the right side up.

The first thud of earth hitting the coffin was for me spine chilling. It was a final and there is no coming back. It is hard to explain, but it was with this thud that his mother broke down. And so all the other guests as well as if on cue.

All the male mourners then filled the rest of the grave as the grave diggers watched on. We then had to make tunnel for the family to pass through and before exiting we were to wash our hands.

These are very interesting customs and I must admit very humble and solemn. Weighing this up with the way we do our funerals I would say this is perhaps the better way to do it. Simple, concise and no frills – just the way we came into this world, so shall we exit.

I was sad, but never cried. Instead my brain was in overdrive to try and take in this new experience. I truly hope his soul finds peace and that his family will not remember the person he was in the last few months, but the person he was a year ago. I hope his children find peace and that his mother will come to terms with what happened. I can only imagine how horrid it must be to loose your child to death. I hope it is something I would never have to experience in my life.

What makes up a family? Blood, DNA? Is blood really thicker than water? If so, I think the argument is a bit flawed. What about families who adopt children or have step family or step children?

My father died when i was 6 years old. my mother remarried when i was 13. it was a bit rough at first merging 2 families, of which 3 of the 4 children were teenagers. But despite the 7-10 years of initial teething my parents made it inspite of meddling children, jelousy, ambition and the tricky business of putting 4 children through school and getting them out of the house.

I believe that every pot has a lid or as we say in afrikaans, elke pot het 'n deksel. And my dad is my mom's lid and she is the cheese to his macaroni. They have been through deep waters and are truly an inspiration when it comes to perseverance.

now, i don't think i could have asked for a better father. I often get asked why i call him my father, which to me is a really silly question. he raised me, i look up to him, he tought me a few things about life and love, so then he should be my father. we might not be bound by blood but we are definately bound by love and respect. He is the coolest grandfather to my daughter and a teacher to my husband. he's the kind of guy you phone to help you when you were in a car accident or in a fix or if you need advice when you are trying to fix something. To me, he really does know everything - like every dad should :) And out of respect for my mother, we had to accept that they have chosen each other to share the rest of their lives with.

Now to get back to this family thing. If i was to say that he then is just my mother's husband but not my father that would be wrong. We cannot choose our family or certain family members. i suppose if we could choose them gumtree would be inundated with unwanted family members to swop or resell... HOWEVER, you can choose to accept them for who they are and you can choose to change your attitude and love them or in certain instances tolerate them.

So would i be correct in saying that family is made up of respect, love and tolerance?

We have had a very chilled weekend apart from clients phoning me at 7am, a bloke hijacking my table in coffee shop and the urge to organise everything. Myself and nanti went to the movies for the first time in 2 years! we went to see Angels and Demons. it is good movie, although not totally sticking to the book, it is great cinematography. the art was just great, being a bit of a history of art nut, i really appreciated the cathedrals, sculptures etc. one day when i am all grown up i'll go and have a look at them myself.

We are planning to travel europe when Rebecca is about 2 years old. we want to see all the cathedrals, churches, crypts, museums, proper italian opera, art and of course kiss under the eiffel tower! ha ha, very corny i know. but what the hell, when in paris...

my brothers and parents and most of my friends have all been abroad and nanti has travelled abroad (into deep dark africa)several times, but i haven't. i have been in all sorts of interesting places in south africa and namibie, but can't wait to go abroad. we now have some time to save and do a proper tour for about 3 weeks.

I must admit that as Rebecca's due date comes closer I have the weirdest urge to make lists for everyone, packing and re-packing cupboards and disposing of unused items. If you stand still in my house you will either get packed away or put in the bin. With Isabella i never had this hectic nesting effort, but with this pregnancy it is really bad.

I am taking maternity leave as from next week monday to relax a bit before she makes her appearance, but i cannot promise anyone that i'll actually relax. i must also admit that i am a bit more relaxed now that i have Paula and Lauren who will be manning the office and playing gate keepers while i am on leave. i made the mistake of only taking one week's maternity leave when Isabella was born - not cool and definately not recommended. you won't get nominated for a Nobel prize or get a medal.